Life. Death. and the CDC

Dear Beloved Readers of My Whimsical Blog,

Most who come and visit this site are people I personally know or at least have met. We are probably friends, family, or acquaintances. However, I know for a fact that some people end up here by mere happenstance.

One might have googled the word Holocaust and unbeknownst; landed here at my quirky site. After reading the introduction: Life of a Holocaust Studies Student, I may have grabbed your attention for a moment or two.

After all, you're probably curious about the kind of a person who wants to study systematic mass murder? And furthermore, why would she blog about her experience?

I blog for basically one reason. Because I want to know exactly why it is that I am choosing the career that I feel has called my name for 17 years. I thought that by sorting through memories of my past (via a blog), I would some how find the answer that I not only want; but desperately desire.

You see, I haven't quite figured it all out yet. My life, that is.

Why is it that I feel the calling to educate others of an unfathomable historical act of monstrosity? Why didn't I pursue a happier occupation? You know, like, a career with rainbows, butterflies and dandelions? Say, an elementary school teacher?

I've pondered the question of why I do what I do for years. I've never been able to find an accurate answer. However, I think my studying, or (the extent to which I choose to study the Holocaust) has something to do with the fact that I haven't had any trepidation about death or dying-- That is, since I was about 14 years old.

This is not to say that I live a reckless, carefree (or do not appreciate) my life. On the contrary.

However, I do believe that our Maker is going to take each and every one of us Home when the time is right. The worrying about how, when, or where one's death will take place; is something I really can't relate to.

I have always viewed death as a part of living. I don't view death as terrifying or scary.

Death is unavoidable and will (someday) happen to everyone I know and love. Why spend the days that I am alive worrying about a fated circumstance? It just doesn't make sense in my eyes.

Don't take me wrong. This doesn't mean I don't feel human emotion in regards to death and dying.

Or, that the thought death has never crossed my mind.

Preferably, I would like to die in a situation that doesn't involve water. Drowning has always been a colossal fear of mine. (My parents put a large pool in our backyard when I was 7. This might have something to do with my drowning paranoia.)But, that's the dying part. Again, I don't see the hullabaloo of death.

Growing up, Susie Q used to (and still does) say to me and my siblings,

"Heaven is a dance floor".

(Those who know Susie Q, can tell you that to describe Susie as optimistic is an understatement of the century. My mother is the hap, hap, happiest person I know. She has been this way since I was a babe in arms).

Back to fearing death. If you think heaven is a dance floor, it makes fearing death kinda hard. I mean, who doesn't like to dance?

Other Causes of Death and Why I Dismiss Them:
Gun Shot? Well, there's a lot of crime out there. I cant say this is a positive 'no', because I do carry pepper spray for a reason.
Plane Crash? Based on the plane-crash to death ratio; I'd have to say no.
Fire? Again, the likelihood just isn't there.
Car Accident? Umm...this might actually be a possibility; there are some crazy driver's on the roads.
Heart/Health Problems? Well, heart disease does run in my family; so I cant rule this out completely.
Accidental Poisoning? I don't want to get all statistical on you, but according to the CDC only 27,000 people die from poisoning per year. Usually this happens to youngsters.
Falling? I hate heights. The thought of skydiving or bungee-jumping make my stomach churn. And again, the CDC claims that death by falling is most common in the elderly.

Yes. I'm nerdy and went to the CDC website.

By this point you're probably assuming that I have never experienced the death of a loved one.

I wish that was true.

This leaves me with a question that I don't know how to answer.

How is it possible that I can tolerate studying mass murder? Is there a reason I don't run in the opposite direction at the mere notion of death?

In all fairness,(and so you know), I would classify myself as a fairly overall happy person.

I am:
Not Depressed.
Have No Major Complaints about my life.
Have Great Friends.
Loving and Supportive Family.

So, why does a relatively happy person study death, you might ask?

I have no clue. But if someone out there knows the answer, by all means please share.

Is it because I view life differently than other's?

Or because I tend to be confident of my own mortality?

Could it be maybe, just maybe, that it takes a person such as I, who doesn't fear the unknown of an afterlife to tolerate the burden that comes with studying the Holocaust?

There is a moment when the burden of conscience (that comes with knowing what has happened and what continues to happen across the world) starts to take its toll on a person.

Believe you me.

All the Black-Eyed-Susans and fields full of dandelions can't make this girl forget that one and a half million Jewish children were murdered during the Holocaust.

Though hard to bear, I can handle the emotional baggage that is attached with my career choice. Personally, what I consider a more urgent matter, is how our world is permitting the reality of history to repeat itself.

Ignoring human-ignorance only allows narrow views to consume the minds of our youth. Young adults of today who are still cognitively processing their own conception of how the (present generation in power) regards the reminiscence of world events. This cognitive process of our youngsters is shaping the future leaders of tomorrow's world.

The actions our world makes today will predicate how succeeding generations will contemplate the importance of world issues.

Issues like, genocides. And the decision of when a Country or UN should be obligated to aid victims. Regardless of China's stance.

Just Sayin'.

Thoughts in Your Head: Wrap it up Jules, you're ranting.

So here it is: I want to know why I don't fear death. I have some inklings about my (lackadaisical view of death), but nothing that makes me 100% positive of why the thought of death doesn't scare the begeezers out of me.

Moreover, I need to know that the death of innocent victims will not go unaccounted in the hereafter. When innocent death becomes acknowledged, one would assume that(as human being to human being), we would all understand and value of life and end meaningless suffering.

That's all I have to say about that.

Love,
Julie



“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” ~Thomas S. Szasz