Today is, like, the best fake Holiday!

Last night as I was driving, I heard to most wonderful news. Today, March 10th is EMBRACE AND OWN YOUR MIDDLE NAME DAY!

Get Outta Town!

Middle names,(as many of you know) is a little bit of an obsession of mine. So, today's holiday, is like, the best fake holiday I've ever heard!

I plan on celebrating this fake holiday all day.
Nope, I'm not lying.

I know, you're probably thinking --

She's interested in Holocaust Studies and middle names?
Man, I hope she has a good therapist.

No, no...you see, my parents happened to give their children very original middle names. Mine is Cecilia. Miss M has a middle name so long and ancient that I still don't know how to spell it.

Cecilia is not only original and fun: I have a song- thanks to Simon and Garfunkel.

Cecilia also rolls of the tongue quite well...

Julie Cecilia Retka

I think it would sound a bit better if I had a British accent. Then again, everything sounds better with a British accent. Ooh.. or how 'bout an Aussie accent? Can you picture the Crocodile Hunter (of blessed memory) saying my name?

"Joulie Saysilya Ratka. Crikey! That's a great name, mate".

-- I love the Crocodile Hunter.

My cousin Megan, (Hi, Megs!) who lives in Sydney, gave me an Aussie dialect lesson while she was here on Holiday this winter. Aussie is pronounced Ozzie. No, no.. not Awwziee, as we Minnesotans would say "Ozzie Osborn". To Minnesota natives, Aussie is said like Oszie.


Susie Q also had her own version of saying my name when I was being a young cantankerous child:

Juuulllliiie CECILIA Reeettka

-- she would draw out my first name for 2 or 3 seconds followed by an emphasis on my middle name and then a (shorter) drawn last name. This was followed 99% of the time by "Wait Till Your Father Gets Home." Any child of the '80's knows what I'm talking about.


Over the years, a hobby of mine developed. I need to find out each person's middle name that I am friends with. I am more likely to remember one's middle name than their first. My memory is weird, as I've told you before

Most people are really nice about sharing their middle names.

The nice people are usually girls. No lie.

Boys on the other hand, seem to be much more insecure when asked about their middle name. I don't know why this is, when I figure it out I'll let you know.

I can usually pinpoint a boy's middle name with three questions.

1. What's your father's first name?
2. What's your grandfather's name?
3. What's your father's oldest brother's name?

In my years of investigative studies, I have found that one of these questions will lead to finding a boy's middle name about 75% of the time.

If I find out that your middle name is (in my eyes) cooler or more unique than your first-- I usually end up calling you by your middle name. For the rest of your life. Just ask my cousin Henry (his real first name is Matt), or my friend Jurgen (whose first name is Chris).

I could go on writing about middle names for hours. Seriously. So, I'll stop here today and continue my rant middle names a different day.

Now people, go out there and embrace your middle name today!